Darth walked over to his comfy chair, now faded and tattered, but which sunk down and enveloped him in a warm hug as he lowered himself into its welcome arms. He barked at a storm trooper to bring him a mint tea, all this empire building seemed to upset his tummy somewhat, he kicked off his heavy boots and removed his helmet. He gave a heavy sigh then took a sip of scalding hot tea, just the way he liked it. As he sat there fiddling with a loose thread on the chair, staring into space he asked himself the same question he had asked himself more and more frequently. "Just because I have negative thoughts and am not sure about how much I like certain aspects of myself necessarily mean I am a bad person?" He had always assumed that the answer to this was yes, so in that case it was just best to go with it and in fact become the baddest of them all, as he always said "if you are going to do a job best do it properly". And better that he thought than feeling guilty about every little thing I think and feel. However, he couldn't help but wonder if there was another way that meant he didn't have to be a harbinger of doom and also didn't have to be a holier than thou goody two shoes like those pesky Jedi. Really, if he was honest about it, he really would like to be able to get along better with others and use his work ethic for something more productive, like a bit of gardening, he'd always fancied himself as having green fingers, but could he? Was he really more than what he had always thought he was? He was starting to have difficulty carrying on with this train of thought as it was actually making him feel quite upset that maybe he had wasted parts of his life and by changing might have to actually face who he was. Anyway, he thought no time for being teary eyed now, can't let the troops see you like this, stiff upper lip and all that. Down the hatch he thought as he finished his tea, reluctantly put his boots and helmet back on, straightened his back and walked purposefully out of the door.
Later on that evening after a day of dastardly deeds, which would normally invigorate him and put any worrisome thoughts to bed, he was still suffering from what he could only describe as existential anxiety! "This is troubling indeed" he thought. As was his way, he felt the need to resolve this issue and as quickly and as efficiently as he could. Darth secretly commandeered a TIE Fighter and punched in the coordinates for the planet Theraputica, poured himself a large G&T, asked the computer to play a bit of sister sledge and sat back, trying to take his mind of his troubles, "we are family" he sang. Once at Theraputica he headed for their famous Wisdom Dome Library, he rather enjoyed his last book from there Influence, Science and Practice. He started to search for anything that might help, but unfortunately he drew a blank as he wasn't really sure what he was looking for. He started to get a little panicked, which was unusual for him, he just walked round and round loosing focus, with the panic rising to his throat, "bloody hell, I wish I could take this helmet off". just then a librarian appeared, Darth jumped, "you scared the living daylights out of me" he thundered. "Sorry sire", responded the tunic and sandal clad librarian, "My name is Ren and I wondered if maybe I could help you with something?" Darth felt the calmness of Ren wash over him and before he knew it he had told her all about his problems. Ren nodded and asked whether Darth had ever heard of the psychotherapist Carl Jung? Darth had not. Ren proceeded to inform him that Jung had come up with a theory of the Shadow self, "Ooh I like the sound of that" said Darth. "It is the parts of ourselves that we do not like that we either repress or show and blame others for" said Ren"maybe things such as anger, destructive tendencies, jealousy to maybe something as simple and less harmful as irritation. The issue comes with the fact that we do not own these feelings as our belonging to us and as part of ourselves; therefore we cannot then control or utilise them. I will read you a quote from Jung.
"Unfortunately there can be no doubt that man is, on the whole, less good than he imagines himself or wants to be. Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. If an inferiority is conscious, one always has a chance to correct it. Furthermore, it is constantly in contact with other interests, so that it is continually subjected to modifications. But if it is repressed and isolated from consciousness, it never gets corrected."
“Psychology and Religion” (1938). In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.131
"Well I know about all that bad stuff, I live it day to day said Darth, so what?" "Ahh, but you are not accepting it completely as your own" replied Ren, "you blame other people for your behaviour, Luke and Leia, the Jedi, your upbringing, your Mum for not showing more fight, someone getting you the wrong brand of tea bags etc. which means you cannot change it, Jung goes on to say.
If you imagine someone who is brave enough to withdraw all his projections, then you get an individual who is conscious of a pretty thick shadow. Such a man has saddled himself with new problems and conflicts. He has become a serious problem to himself, as he is now unable to say that they do this or that, they are wrong, and they must be fought against… Such a man knows that whatever is wrong in the world is in himself, and if he only learns to deal with his own shadow he has done something real for the world. He has succeeded in shouldering at least an infinitesimal part of the gigantic, unsolved social problems of our day.
“Psychology and Religion” (1938). In CW 11: Psychology and Religion: West and East. P.140
"People are nature" Ren continued "and that means they embody what nature is and this includes destructive forces, if you accept this and that means accepting your own nature, then the next question becomes how do I choose to use and react to those parts of myself?" This left Darth feeling a little stumped if he was honest, he had not thought seriously that he could be any different for such a long time, it was actually quite a scary prospect, choice was responsibility and responsibility could mean fear, what if he chose wrongly, what if he couldn't always moderate his thoughts and he tried to be different but people still thought he was a bit of a wally? Ren seemed to understand what he was thinking and said "You also need to understand that everybody has these random thoughts such as "why did I marry this idiot?" or "who the hell do they think they are etc," but this is just a linguistic interpretation of how we are feeling, if we take away the words away and get to the emotion we will understand how we feel and also how transitory all these feeling are, just because you are angry with someone doesn't mean you don't love them and that your anger will diminish and give rise to love when you say ok I was a bit annoyed then but I am still happy with you" Darth sat and pondered for a bit and said he might need some time to think about these things. Ren said she would leave him in quiet contemplation for a bit, but said before she left, that he should also think about how some of his seemingly shadow parts could actually be of use to him in a more positive and less destructive way, like say for instance his ability to influence people may mean he could use that to create cooperative groups; or say use his fiestiness to accomplish some other end, such as advocating for others. This really made Darth sit up and think, "thank you he said I will think on it all"
After his quiet contemplation Darth got into his ship and flew back, this time in silence, just watching the stars and planets fly be, becoming ever more certain that his nature was at one with theirs and that as a conscious member of nature he should really look at his own responsibility in that? Did he want to use his shadow self for destroying what he was or did he want to help the universe to grow along with his own nature? Over the next few days he try to put small things into practice, when he had a hard day, instead of barking for his tea, he allowed himself to shout it in his head, acknowledging his feeling, but then owned how he felt and said "I have had a very hard and stressful day and a cup of tea how I like it would be good right now" The troops started to notice the change and liked what they were seeing, it was starting to become a much nicer place to work, they might not need to strike after all. Darth started to feel as though he could understand his feelings towards Luke and asked him if he would come and speak with him. Luke, feared it was a trap. but came anyway just in the hope their relationship could heal in. After listening to his father, Luke started to get quite upset and said that he constantly felt guilty for the small bad thoughts he allowed himself to have, such as when Han didn't do the washing up in the house share they were staying in, and was so tired of carrying around this guilt, He said he felt relieved to know that this was normal and that it was ok to have a balance of all the emotions within him. Luke left promising that he would spread the word of this change.
Darth had also been thinking about what Ren had said about using his shadow self for something more positive, something that would help nature grow not destroy it. He rounded up the troops and told them "Today has been a long time coming, I cannot in full consciousness of myself and of the universe carry on constantly destroying everything including myself. I have decided that we will be turning the Death Star into a bio-dome and we will be searching the universe for as many different species of plant we can find. I say now that there may be times that I get angry or frustrated during this endeavor but please forgive me in advance it is part of who I am."